The Scoop on Christmas with Cats
Late one night as I tried to sleep,
Olaf was a godamned *bleep*.
His first attack was the Christmas tree.
It was a real sore sight to see.
He flung a ball up on the bed,
I was lucky that it missed my head.
I looked at Olaf, he looked at me,
It was ON, the war against this tree.
I chased him off, out through the door,
But then came Hermies,
he had tagged in one more.
It was 2 am and I was NOT in the mood,
I created a diversion, and I gave them more food.
As they gobbled it up, I ran back to my bed.
I just wanna sleep and rest my head.
I flipped and I flopped and I got real snug,
I cracked open an eyelid there was a cat on the rug.
Right next to my bed, there was one with a bell,
COME ON!
I said, “What the Hell!”
There was ringing and dinging, she was playing away.
PLEASE Santa, Take them! Take them away!
There was no sleep to be had, I could take NO MORE,
I shuffled them out and I shut my DOOR.
They scratched and they cried, they meowed so loud,
They had summoned the SANTA,
in red he was shroud.
He came down the hall with a huff and a puff,
“What’s all this noise? It’s way past enough!”
With a wink and a chuckle, he waved his white beard,
“Olaf, Hermies, and Cat, you’ve all been too weird!”
They looked at him wide-eyed, with faces quite sweet,
Then Santa looked down at their tiny cold feet.
“I’ve had it with games and all your noise,
But this year, I’ll grant you some new Christmas toys!”
He pulled out a mechanical mouse on a string,
For Olaf, who loved to chase anything.
A squeaky fish for Hermies, of course,
And for Cat,
a cozy new bed, her favorite resource.
The creatures were thrilled and quickly sat still,
Their paws now occupied, their antics all chill.
Santa gave me a smile, soft as the snow,
“Don’t worry,” he said, “This is how it must go.”
“You’ll get your rest, just a little more peace.
Just remember, the chaos will never quite cease!”
Then off through the window, with a flick and a dash,
Santa disappeared in a magical flash.
I lay there and sighed, and finally closed my eyes,
To dream of a silent and peaceful surprise.
Olaf was snuggled, Hermies took a nap,
And Cat was content, curled up in my lap.
The tree was still standing, though slightly askew,
But in my heart, Christmas felt brand new.
For sometimes the chaos, the mess, and the fun,
Make the holiday bright, when all’s said and done.
So here’s to the animals, the mayhem, the cheer,
Merry Christmas to all, and a Happy New Year!
